Writer's block...

...or is it something else?

I'm sitting here staring at the screen wondering what to do. I've caught up on my e-mails - what a miracle. I've caught up on all of my facebook friends. I've read a number of blogs that looked interesting. Schoolwork is checked.

It's Thursday evening. The children will be going to bed soon. My husband will expect me to come downstairs and enjoy a tv show or two and I will do that, but...my dilemma is this: there is no book to write, struggle over, edit, whatever.

My grandfather - born 1875

I'm in the process of researching for a historical set in my local town in the 1890's. I'm meeting the historian this weekend, but there's so much I don't know about things in history. Yeah, they wore long dresses, and made most stuff from scratch. I've found out there weren't phones or electricity. How did they keep things cold? Did everyone use kerosene in their lanterns? How did they school? Was there a school? How long did they go?

There are so many questions in my head and I'm enough of a perfectionist to HAVE to get it right. *sigh* I don't even know where to find the information I need, besides the historian, who I'm sure will be tired of me by the time this is over. Can I just go to the library and say I want information about 1890's Alabama?

Why am I writing this historical again?

My first ACFW conference experience

At times writing is a chore and other times it is invigorating. That pretty much sums up my much anticipated trip to St. Louis for the ACFW conference.

I enjoyed meeting many new people, and seeing "famous" authors (Colleen Coble, Tracie Peterson, Brandilyn Collins, Gail Gaymer Martin and so many others). I loved my roommate Nancy Farrier. What a wonderful, godly woman.

On the other hand, it was discouraging. I kind of knew that my book wasn't going to be "popular," but I really wanted some feed back that my writing has potential. Mrs. Martin said some positive things in my appointment with her (thank you), but my next appointment went so badly (as I expected it to do - is it bad that I expected the worst?) that her words became nearly forgotten. I was nowhere near what that particular publisher wanted - plot driven vs. character driven, wrong setting, wrong characters - but to give her credit, she tried to be very nice about it.

The discouragement didn't really hit me until the drive home yesterday - seven hours in the car gave me a lot of time to think. What if I'm just not meant to be a writer? What if all the time I spend writing I should be doing something else? Am I trying to do this for my glory or God's?

I went to conference praying for divine revelation and came home wondering if I missed God somewhere along the way.

So that's my experience at the ACFW conference. I pray that all the other newcomers went home encouraged and hopeful.

Conference Newby Nerves

At the end of September I will be attending my first ever ACFW Conference. This year it is being held in St. Louis, Missouri. I will be traveling alone from my home in Northern Alabama. Will I get lost? Be able to find parking? Hit traffic?

Driving there is not my only concern, however. My anxiety also comes from how I will act when I get there. How many times will I make a fool of myself (notice I didn't say "if" but how many)? Will I be too nervous to talk or will I talk too much?  Will I just sit in a corner and watch from a distance, which tends to be how I cope with new situations? 

Then there are the ultimate writing questions: Will an editor like my book? Will my setting in a foreign country be a strike against me from the start(being that I am unpublished as well)? Is my book any good? Am I just fooling myself that my writing is interesting?

Those are the thoughts that flit through my head multiple times each day. There is still over six weeks until the conference. What will I do to relax? 

I pray and leave it at the throne of God. If He truly called me to write this book, which I feel He did, then He will guide me to the right person, at the right time. Though that is easier said than done, I will remind myself daily that God is on my side and that's good enough.


As always, under HIS wings,
Ginger